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“We should make it easy for others to tell us what they think even
if what they think, conflicts with our views.”
~Jim Knight, Better Conversations p. 82
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If you have spent any time in education you
learn quickly that each year our world is filled with new buzzwords, acronyms,
and strategies to use with students and staff.
One topic that has remained constant
during my twenty-three years in education is RELATIONSHIPS. Each year I read several books, and most of them include information on fostering positive relationships with students, how to make connections, and how
to create classrooms with high trust and positive climate. I’ve spent a majority of my summer pondering on
how hard teachers work to build relationships with students. Yet, I’ve spent enough time in PLC meetings
and conference rooms to recognize we often do not hold the same standards for
how we work with our colleagues.
This
summer, I read the book: Better Conversations by Jim Knight. He shares in his book, that better
conversations are about finding common ground, asking better questions,
fostering dialogue, redirecting toxic words and emotions, and building
trust. All things we need in our schools.
He also shares
several stories from coaches around the country in this book, and several
studies and research about what teachers think.
What Knight captures in his book is that
sometimes as adults we focus on obvious differences rather than finding common
ground with our peers.
Dialogue
is hard, but I believe that dialogue is an opportunity for each of us to learn
something about our own thinking, as well as the thinking of the people sitting
across the table from us, or standing next to us at the water cooler. If I want my students to appreciate diverse
opinions and beliefs in my classroom, then I have to do the same with my colleagues just a few doors down in the conference room.
I have to appreciate diverse opinions and beliefs. And that. Is.
Hard.
We
want what's best for students because if we didn't, our schools would be empty. There would be no teachers.
Our
passion for students is ignited by our experiences, our beliefs, and our
values—They are important to bring to the conference rooms, but sometimes they
can deter us from productive conversations. This
concept of agreeing to disagree is the very thing that can make some
conversations GREAT and some conversations PRICKLY.
So how can we do this? All of this begins with
that magical six-letter word: LISTEN.
If we truly begin to listen to each other, we can begin to find common
ground. When we find that common ground,
we can begin to build trust, improve our collegial relationships and work as
productively together as we do with our students.
For more information on how to have
better professional conversations and how to build relationships with your colleagues, check out these resources:
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